DEAR HARRIETTE: I went through a very tough personal loss a few months ago and took bereavement leave from work for two weeks.
My boss and supervisors were wonderful and understanding, but my co-workers didn’t seem to understand at all.
I came back, and most of my co-workers seemed to be upset with me for being gone. It’s really like they resent me for leaving them to make up for my absence.
I’m extremely hurt, and I don’t feel supported in my grief at all. How do I handle this?
DEAR NO EMPATHY: People who have never suffered loss sometimes lack the capacity to feel others’ pain. The very definition of empathy is one’s ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
It sounds like your colleagues were thinking about themselves, not you.
Harriette Cole: My friend says I’ve gotten cocky, and they’ve started excluding me
Harriette Cole: Was it a mistake to tell this one friend so many secrets?
Harriette Cole: I kept telling her to leave him, but I didn’t think it would turn out like this
Harriette Cole: Could this family just be pretending not to know who I am?
Harriette Cole: She says she keeps getting COVID. I think she’s lying.
I hope you did thank them for having your back during your tender time, as that is you showing empathy for them. Besides that, you do not need to do anything else with them. Instead, create a network of support outside your job so that you do not feel alone as you continue to heal your heart.
You can also forgive them for not understanding what you are going through. That will make it easier for you to work with them every day and not feel hurt.
Years ago, a young woman who worked for me lost her mother. She was absolutely devastated. I gave her time …read more
Source:: The Mercury News