Amy Dickinson

Dear Amy: I am beginning to think that I’m in violation of some unwritten social code with respect to gift giving.

Amy Dickinson 

After a very acrimonious divorce, we experienced the typical “siding off” of our mutual acquaintances.

This is understandable, as divorce puts friends in awkward positions.

Anyway, I have continued to send gifts as children of “our” friends marry, despite not being an invited guest. These gifts are not being acknowledged.

I’m trying to figure out if I just hit a streak of ungrateful young people or if my giving is so grossly out of place that it is just being ignored. Any guidance is really appreciated.

Bewildered Giver

Dear Bewildered: All gifts should be acknowledged, even if the gift bewilders the recipient.

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You do not need to receive a wedding invitation in order to send a gift, but if you have never met the couple — or haven’t seen the marrying person in many years — you might want to switch your generosity to a warmly worded card.

Dear Amy: In 2020, my nephew, “TJ,” graduated from high school. My husband and I are especially close to him.

Due to COVID, there was no graduation party. During lockdown, I sent TJ a card and enclosed money.

Later, I sent a personal, heartfelt letter, wanting him to know how much I enjoyed seeing him grow, recounting memories we shared, giving him unsolicited advice about college (that he could take or leave), etc.

TJ called to thank me for the …read more

Source:: The Mercury News


Ask Amy: Are my gifts to these young people out of line?

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