Jeanne Phillips (Dear Abby)

DEAR ABBY: I have wrestled with this for a year.

I thought I had a good friend. I had a pacemaker implanted, and eight months later I broke my elbow. Both times I was hospitalized. Not once did she come to see me or send a card, even though she is a card lover.

I overlooked it until my son’s death made me rethink our friendship. She sent me some fruit but didn’t make one call to see how we were doing, no visitation, nothing. She didn’t send a sympathy card either.

I now regard her as selfish, and I can no longer bring myself to be friends with her.

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We all make mistakes, that’s true, but three times with no support from her is more than I can accept. I now feel we weren’t friends at all.

Am I wrong? We have many dear friends who were there when we needed them. They cried with us, consoled us, brought food, stayed with us. Are my feelings valid?

ABANDONED IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABANDONED: Where feelings are concerned, there is no “right” or “wrong.”

Sometimes people feel extremely uncomfortable about what they should say or do when a difficult situation arises such as an illness, an accident or a death. That your friend made herself absent when you needed her support is unfortunate. Not knowing her, I can’t guess her reason, and neither can you.

So before you abandon her, you should ask her that question.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old woman in a healthy, loving relationship with my boyfriend of 2½ …read more

Source:: The Mercury News

      

Dear Abby: She made this mistake three times. Am I wrong to end our friendship?

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