DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sometimes find myself at an event where no one wants to talk to me.

My husband is a scientist, and at his conferences and other work events, the other guests are usually only interested in talking to fellow scientists in their field.  I was once sitting at a table in a bar, and the woman sitting next to me turned in her chair so that her back was to me and her front was to the person on the other side.

I understand that these people may have traveled a considerable distance and just want to gossip with their colleagues. But what can I do? I feel uncomfortable sitting by myself while the party goes on around me.

I usually check my phone. Can I bring a book? Should I learn to knit, like the faculty wives in Miss Pym’s books?

I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun by forcing them to talk to me. I avoid these situations when I can, but it’s not always possible.

Related Articles

Advice |

Miss Manners: Strangers call to accuse me of being heartless

Advice |

Miss Manners: I dumped his gifts at his door to make a point, and now I want them back

Advice |

Miss Manners: How did her houseguest problem end up in my lap?

Advice |

Miss Manners: I was appalled that they sold raffle tickets at their wedding

Advice |

Miss Manners: Is it offensive to say I’m proud of another adult?

GENTLE READER: Because you have been rudely and unfairly made to feel unwanted, Miss Manners is going to let you in on a secret: Far from being superfluous, you are the only indispensable person in the room at these events.

You are not elbowing your way onstage at a lecture on quantum chromodynamics. You are at a social event after the lecture — an event that was scheduled because, after last year’s conference, someone took a survey and the scientists all agreed …read more

Source:: The Mercury News


Miss Manners: My husband’s colleagues won’t talk to me. Am I allowed to read at their events?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *