DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend with whom I am not particularly close held a holiday party at his home. I was unaware of the party until last week, when he posted many photos of it online.
It looked like a great party, and everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time.
In his post accompanying the photos, he apologized for not inviting more people due to a lack of space, and asked anyone he had not seen in a while to please reach out to him.
I am not offended that I was not invited to the party, because we are not close. But I wonder how other not-invited friends reacted to this post. Had I been a closer friend, I would have been hurt to be excluded.
I had a large birthday party last year, and it would never have occurred to me to post photos on social media because of my sensitivity to the feelings of those who were not invited.
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Was it bad manners to post photos that people who were not invited to the party would see?
GENTLE READER: It was. But as Miss Manners realizes that a strict ban on such posts would bring social media to a halt — and that someone might consider this a terrible thing — she will offer some guardrails to soften the impact.
Your friend’s apology was a good start. Another would be to omit details. Better to let everyone think the event was spontaneous — no invitations were …read more
Source:: The Mercury News